


easier said than done

by Mewkura



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! Zexal
Genre: Gen, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-30 19:27:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17834717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mewkura/pseuds/Mewkura
Summary: Yu-Gi-Oh Zexal | Foilshipping | Post-Canon | Vector prefers to live in a world of deception. It’s just easier.





	easier said than done

It’s easier to pretend that Vector didn’t care. In fact, he didn’t. Convincing himself that he didn’t care about hurting everyone, didn’t care that he has to face those he betrayed, didn’t care at all for the boy who was willing to be dragged into hell with him—it was easy.

It’s easy to draw on a devious smile and hide behind another mask or five. Easy to reply snarkily and tell Tsukumo Yuuma that he didn’t need his pity.

_“You know, Shin- Vector. You can always stay at my house if Ryoga doesn’t decide to let you stay at his place.”_

_“I’ll be fine. I’m sure my_ good _friend will let me crash his place for a bit.”_

(He didn’t.)

It’s easy to skip school. Why he was even re-enrolled to that stupid institution was beyond him, but it mattered not when he knew that no one wanted to see him anyway.

All the ex-Barian emperors would look at him with disdain—especially Nash—and distrust, not to mention the humans who he previously “befriended” as Shingetsu Rei. They always seemed to shrink whenever he saw them, which was justified.

It’s easier to think, _who cares what they think I am. I couldn’t do anything to them if I tried,_ so it’s not like he needed to keep appearances. (Though, he did.)

It’s easier to pretend that he didn’t care whenever he felt the ice cold stares of his previous “comrades”. It’s easier to pretend that it doesn’t hurt whenever Yuuma treats him like nothing happened and is still comfortable with touching his human skin, which irritates the hell out of Vector, by the way—always so itchy.

It’s easy to pretend that he harbors no guilt in that new, damned human heart of his.

In fact, he didn’t.

(He pretends.)

It’s easy to tell Yuuma that he didn’t care about “school” or about rekindling any friendships with people who probably didn’t want him alive. It’s easy to tell Yuuma to leave him alone. It’s easy to tell Yuuma that it didn’t matter what happened to him, because it really didn’t. Vector knew that any of Yuuma’s attempts to pull him back into some sort of imitation of a normal life would only end up fruitless and probably hurt him again. Vector knew that it was pointless to redeem himself. Vector’s a condemned soul, and he’s going to stick to that narrative.

_“Pretending to be a normal human again is pointless. It’d just be a waste of my time. And no one needs me back there anyway.”_

_“Maybe you would be wasting your time, but maybe you’d have fun doing it. And I would be happy if you came in every once in a while. I… I miss sitting next to Shingetsu in class.”_

_“Shingetsu’s dead, you know.”_

_“But you’re not.”_

It’s easy to pretend that Yuuma doesn’t make Vector’s stupid human heart feel stupid human things. It’s easy to pretend that Yuuma doesn’t make Vector’s heart feel heavier than the depths of hell—and trust, he’s been there. It’s easy to pretend that Yuuma doesn’t have any impact on Vector’s thoughts or actions.

It’s easier to pretend that Yuuma does nothing to or for him.

In fact, he doesn’t.

(He pretends.)

_“Is that offer still up?”_

_“Offer? Oh, yeah, of course it is! You can take my bed just down those stairs; I don’t use it anyway. Also, you can come by anytime you like, as long I’m home.”_

_“Cool. Coming in now.”_

_“You don’t like doors?”_

_“Windows are easier.”_

It’s easier to pretend that Vector doesn’t care as to why Yuuma seems to still have blind trust in him, after everything. It’s easier to just play right into Yuuma’s trusting hands, and maybe—just maybe—show the slightest bit of vulnerability.

Maybe it’s easier to shed a few masks with Yuuma.

_“Aren’t you worried that I’ll backstab you again? Hurt you and your precious friends again? Don’t you think I might try to kill you in your own home?”_

_“No.”_

_“And why not? I’ve given you a million reasons to never trust me again.”_

_“And you’ve given me at least one reason to trust you. And that’s enough for me.”_

It’s easier to ignore the anomaly of Yuuma Tsukumo, to say that Yuuma is just an idiot and nothing more. It’s easier to ignore Yuuma’s kindness and generosity, his compassion and forgiveness, his humanity and patience. It’s easy to not love Yuuma.

In fact, it’s the easiest thing in the world.

(It’s not.)

It’s easy for Vector to pretend that Yuuma isn’t good at convincing him to come back to school and even interact with his former friends, those he manipulated, those he betrayed, those he didn’t want to even look at.

It’s easy for Vector to walk back into that eyesore of a building and pretend to have confidence standing in the middle of a crowded hallway, very out of place.

_“Just stick with me and don’t worry about anyone else. You’ll be fine.”_

It’s easy to only listen to Yuuma’s voice and stay by his side. It’s easier to pretend that Yuuma’s encouragement isn’t what’s calming his nerves.

Vector’s skin feels itchy again.

_“Yuuma! Good morning! How are— Oh… I see you brought Vector to school today.”_

_“Yep! I managed to drag him out of the house! Lucky, huh?”_

_“I guess so. Good… good morning Vector.”_

_“Mornin’.”_

It’s easy to pretend that everyone’s not looking at Vector, cautiously eyeing him, as if they were expecting him to whip a blade out from his uniform and hold it to Nash’s neck. It’s easy to ignore the flinches from accidental touches and the slight changes in seating to face away from him. It’s easy to say it doesn’t bother Vector one bit.

In fact, it doesn’t.

It’s easier to focus on Yuuma, who’s trying to force Vector’s voice into the conversation. It’s easier to look at Yuuma, who’s smiling at him and sharing his lunch with him, which is unheard of. In fact, it’s easier to relax when Yuuma’s there.

No. No, it’s not easier. In fact, it’s worse.

It’s easier to pretend that Yuuma isn’t helping him, but why not entertain him? It’s easy to attend school, after all. Easy to sit in class, be quiet, and don’t bother people—any fool can do it. It’s easier to say Vector’s here because he has nothing better to do.

_“How was your first day back, Vector?”_

_“Meh.”_

_“Aw, just meh? Then, we’ll make tomorrow a better day! Right?”_

_“Worth a try, I guess.”_

_“Of course it is.”_

_“…”_

_“…”_

_“How was your day, Yuuma?”_

_“Great! In fact, it was awesome. Because you were here!”_

It’s easy to not think about Yuuma. It’s easy to ignore Yuuma’s kindness and not spend entire nights staring at the ceiling thinking about Yuuma and his too damn nice heart. It’s easy to pretend that Yuuma wasn’t sleeping right above Vector, just a few meters higher. In fact, it’s easy to pretend this wasn’t Yuuma’s house.

(It wasn’t—smells too much like food all the time)

It’s easy to go into a dreamless sleep and not think off bloodshed or war or destruction—so, so much destruction. It’s easy to brush off the nightmares. Easy to ignore the giant red eye and looming black figure and the pull of the void, threatening to swallow him whole and purge the world of his filthy deeds. Easy to ignore the tears that land on his cheek from different red eyes, kind ones, that threaten to jump into the void with him. Easy to ignore the loss of the warmth in his hands as he lets go. Easy to ignore the voice screaming a name that’s not even his. Easy to ignore the void gnawing at his entity, harshly erasing him from everything. Easy to ignore the empty, terrifying reality of being eaten alive, of dying. Easy to ignore the unrelenting fear that grows and grows in his dead Barian heart until it bursts and—

He wakes, pretending the searing hot tears streaming down his face don’t exist. It’s easy to pretend they’re not tears. It’s water, boiling hot water, and it’s on his face as punishment, repentance, a ritual rebirth come two months late. It’s anything but tears.

It’s easy to say he’s calmed his quaking human heart. It’s easier to breathe now, though he’s scratching his arm so hard he might bleed.  
  
_“Hey. Yuuma… are you awake?”_

_“Hm? Vector? It’s 3 a.m. Have you been awake this whole time?”_

_“No. I just woke up.”_

_“Nightmare?”_

_“Psh, no. I don't get nightmares. I give them.”_

_“Heh, I guess you did at some point. Anyway, do you need something?”_

_“Not really. Can I just stay up here tonight? I’m not tired anymore and it’s too quiet down there.”_

_“…Sure, I don’t mind. You should bring the blanket up here if you get cold.”_

_“Thanks.”_

_“No problem. Good night, Vector.”_

_“…Night.”_

It’s easy for Vector to look over and see Yuuma somehow sleeping peacefully in that dumb hammock, and for some reason inane reason, it causes Vector’s heart to ease, yet race at the same time. It’s easy for Vector to push the feeling aside.

(It isn’t.)

It’s easy to relax, dropping a couple masks and allowing himself to admire the way the moonlight falls on Yuuma’s serene sleeping face. It’s easy to allow himself to lower his guard and think to himself a single word, _beautiful_.

_Yuuma. Beautiful._

It’s a word too much. To let Yuuma unravel him so far, to get past so many layers of deception and lies, Vector thinks it’s too much. He dropped too many masks, left himself _too_ vulnerable.

Yet, somehow. Vector thinks, for once in his life, it might be easier to stop pretending.

 

 

 

Epilogue

_“Vector, vector, wake up.”_

_“Wha huh?”_

_“You fell asleep on the floor. It’s past noon.”_

_“Wow, new record.”_

_“Congrats. Now we’re both winners of something.”_

_“Yeah… Y’know, speaking of which—Yuuma?”_

_“Yeah?”_

_“I’m a big, fat liar. Like, the fattest liar you’ve ever known. But you know that already.”_

_“V-Vector? Wh—”_

_“You know how the first few months I knew you were all lies.”_

_“Yes, but Vector, you know I’m over that—”_

_“Well, I’ve decided to retract one lie and make it a truth.”_

_“Wh—”_

_“Yuuma. I really am your biggest fan.”_

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time publishing a fic on this site, so hope that the formatting isn't weird or anything.  
> This definitely isn't beta-read or anything like that.
> 
> But I hope y'all enjoy. Foilshipping is criminally underrated and I just love these two


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